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xXBlack__ChainXx
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Name: Rachel
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Tulsa
Gender: Female
Interests: Terry. I <3 him.
Music: Psyclon Nine, 16 Volt, Celldweller, Aquefrigide, Asylem Angels, Bruised, Starlit, Deadstar Assembly, Wretched Asylum, Lesbian Bed Death, Zombie Girl, Rivethead, Marilyn Manson, Columbine, Creature Feature, The Candy Spooky Theater, Shattered Glass Playground, Margin of Error, Genitorturers, Into Eternity, Collide, Marazene, In This Moment, Kidneythieves, Fashion Bomb, Heaven Shall Burn, Otep, Mind Altering Substance, Lacuna Coil, Hourcast, Jesus On Extasy, Deftones, Unter Null, Nirvana, Spectrum-X, Collide, Black Light Burns, Trollheims Grott, Arch Enemy, Killing Miranda, Suicide All, Jack Off Jill, Spineshank, Emilie Autumn, Dark Tranquillity, Haste, more...
Expertise: Drawing, writing, daydreaming, anime/manga, video games (Final Fantasy/RPGs), REAL photography, graphic design, having mood-swings, being open, loving cats and kittens. Be warned: I can either be nice or a bitch. Don't talk to me and expect to be my "friend." And I don't give my AIM away to many people, at all. So don't bother asking. Good day bitches.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/19/2005
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| I think I have to write this.
The last time I updated, I was still in school.
That seems so far away.
Anyway, I graduated from Jenks, turned 18, moved back to Ft. Smith with Terry, got a job at McDonald's, and now I'm saving up to go to college.
I've reread this xanga quite a few times actually.
It's so strange reading it...
It's like I'm going back in time, because I can see the words I wrote so many years ago...
I can remember the feelings I had.
I remember how close I was to my friends...
That all seems distant now.
Either people deleted their xangas or just simply abandoned them...
I keep writing for a long time despite the fact that most people had left this place.
It was pretty popular in 8th to 10th grade, but died after that.
It makes me sad.
The comments everyone left for one another.
They were filled with "I'll call you" and "love you like a sis" and many more...
What happened?
When was the true point that it all finally collapsed?
I still don't know.
I don't think anyone understand how much I wish I could go back just to experience it again...
And to see what would have happened if I had stayed and graduated Southside...
I went to the graduation of 2008 last year, and it was hard... It was nice to see people again, but I was upset because I felt I should've been one of the people wearing those robes...
I've grown up so much...
And I feel very distanced from the people who I used to hang out with on a daily basis.
I wish those people could read this right now, but I know they probably won't.
I guess I'm writing it for myself right now...
Just to have some sort of closure on here rather than just abandon it.
Well...
It was fun.
My first post one here was on Monday, September 19, 2005 at 9:20 P.M.
It is now Friday, March 13, 2009 at 11:56 A.M.
I will never forget these memories.
So for the last time,
Yours Truly,
xXBlack__ChainXx
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| I cannot wait until school is over.
Highschool is just an obstacle between the future and I.
I'm doing really good on my grades though, surprising.
I have changed a lot compared to when I first launched this xanga.
Attitude, music, beliefs, state of mind, state of being, all have changed.
It's kind of funny when I think about how I used to be.
But if I think I've changed a lot now, what will I be like in another five years?
I hope I'm mature and intelligent, a person of confidence.
I have realized that life has only begun.
I <3 Terry.
xXBlack__ChainXx
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| Hm, haven't updated in awhile.
School hasn't been bad. I'm not failing anything luckily. Ha.
I can't wait until this year is over and so I can go back to Ft. Smith.
I really can't...
But luckily I get to see my love this weekend.
^_^
I <3 Terry.
xXBlack__ChainXx
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| "The Criminal Whore"
"My loyalty is expressed through my absence.
My cruelty is expressed through my sexuality.
My life is equivalent to a flame feeding on oxygen alone.
My love is like a needle, piercing deep inside of you to cure you.
My hatred is as wide as the abyss in space.
My lies are lovely sweet nursery rhymes.
My truthful words are brutal and bruise your ears.
My tongue is a weapon that will destroy your mind.
My ears are a venus trap, catching every little fly in an instance.
My eyes are swords, seemingly at your throat.
My lips are lures, so I can reel you in.
I leave who I love.
I sleep with my enemies.
I do all of this...
Because I would rather be miserable and have no one...
Then have someone I love to only hurt them..."
Random little poem I made.
XP
I <3 Terry.
xXBlack__ChainXx
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